Russell Simmons & The Overstander Discuss

As you might know, there is still a bunch a talk surrounding the relationship between Julie Henderson and Russell Simmons, not only because she's White but also because she lashed out at Black women on a blog because of the negative comments Black women were making. This led to Katie Rost (Russell's ex-girlfriend and a Black woman) and Necole Bitchie (An Ethnic Celebrity Blogger) doing a little verbal judo on Julie in response. There's been a bunch of back and forth and then Russell chimed in on the blog site himself. Russell seem to be more interested in expanding the conversation so I initiated a dialogue with Mr. Simmons in response to his post. Our conversation thus far:

Russell:
Every morning after meditation, I look through the daily newspapers and surf the internet. Some of this stuff is supposed to be pretty heavy. But honestly, at that time of the morning I'm still high as hell from my meditation and really "its all illusion" Anyhow, one morning I was sitting in bed with my current girlfriend Julie Henderson and I saw a very typical image of us together at some black tie event. The picture appeared on one of of my favorite sources of relevant news bossip.com.

The headline was "IS RUSSELL SERIOUS ABOUT THIS WAFER?". I was pleased with the picture and I kept it moving. Julie, who was looking over my shoulder made a comment,"Hey, at least they think I look skinny in that dress!" I laughed like a happy yogi baby and said, "that's not 'waif' honey, that's 'wafer' ...like white girl..:-).

She didn't think it was that funny-but it was.

She has been subjected to quite a bit of these "funny" experiences. A relatively small number of them compared to maybe my Swedish girlfriend Tova Johansson from the early 80's. But still, these stories bothered her a bit. So much that I suggested she write a blog about her feelings. Julie is a bit younger than me so I find myself smiling at her innocence when she reads these things. Its confusing and hurtful to her but her shock about it shows that her generation is on the right track.

Even my own website isn't perfect. Here's the reality- my editors think it's ok for for my bloggers, such as Katie Rost, to call white women, "stringy haired bitches". Hmmmm, what if Julie submitted the unthinkable? Just kidding. That would never happen. But then, what is the answer?

One of my associates told me just to accept it, THATS JUST THE WAY IT IS. As a sheep in human society I guess that answer is acceptable but as a yogi I'm forced to re-examine this answer everyday. For example, the abuse of animals, the planet and other humans is continuous and ongoing but each individual at different levels of participation in the abuse can say stop. I'm re-learning the truth every day, all day- which is we all have the choice to operate from a place of love.

I'm comforted to know that my kids will surely grow up in a world where by the time they reach adulthood we will all be even closer to a place of acceptance and tolerance. As for me, I will continue to try to do what I believe is karmically right, follow my heart and date appropriately (whatever color my girlfriend may be). And I will, when the appropriate time presents itself, always try to slip in words of healing. I will also always try to promote the message of love and tolerance- and to remind people the same mantra that I use for myself (and often say out loud): We are here to give the world what we want and to take what we want by giving it to others because in the end their freedom turns directly into our own freedom.

Practice giving the love and respect you want for yourself to others and see what the payoff is. I promise you, its big.

Namaste (for real)

The Overstander:
I think "Gangsta Dakini" said it best, a Yogi is not an active participant in amassing things of monetary value, in this world. Russ, you are a Capitalist first, above all else and while your efforts to play a role in the demise of "bad things" in the world might be note-worthy, you shouldn't obscure the truth from yourself: your actions are ego motivated "feel-good" measures to justify your own fortune to yourself. "svbmdb" made some VERY valid points about the "real world" - we live in it, and in the real world, Black women are suffering from a shortage of really good men (not wealthy - just "good"), Black men are suffering from and identity crisis, Black children are suffering from a lack of two-parent homes and role models. In the real world, it matters when one of the VERY FEW exceptionally successful, intelligent and seemingly decent Black men, is unwilling to COMMIT to finding a Black mate.

Greater success presents a wider array of options for dating and what does it tell Black women and little Black girls when the celebrated successful Black men are all exercising those options by choosing a mate that looks nothing like them? Is is any wonder that our women are increasingly doing more to escape their natural looks - "refining" their selves into a more "acceptable" standard of beauty - one which they can never naturally achieve?

I don't fault you for the choices you have made because they are personal and your business but you, your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend are actively participating in this discussion and have therefore invited everybody's opinion in. If you haven't noticed, not much has been said about Kimora and that's probably because she hasn't issued an invite via an opinion blog on this topic.

Congrats on your Ambassador posting

Russell:
i certainly dont believe that a practicing yogi has to be a renunciant .. i cant even spell it but u got the point im just doin the best i can i enjoy giving though and i have some faith and im gaining more through practice this dialogue is fun and in some ways even important...i have a firm belief in the truth that by relieving suffering or promoting happiness im selfishly promoting my own happiness and thats what i try to remember to remember .. like most people i sometimes forget i try to move my buisnesses to pplaces where they are not harmful infact i try to believe that they are infact helpful.. read the diamond cutter by the monk geishe michael rooch

i hope u get this u make good point i must say that my daughters will not carry any weight from me regarding who they date i believe in integration both economic and spiritual . Blacks less likely than jews asians whites and others to do it my daughters can date whoever they want < so long as the person they choose is not hurtful to them and ofcourse their mother agrees.

The Overstander:
Greeting Russ (hope you don't mind me calling that),

I think you make some very good points as well. No one should argue that the ultimate goal of our society (the world for that matter) should be a peaceful all-accepting non-racist one. The question is; how do we get there? The easy answer would be for everyone to stop considering race, culture and ethnicity and simply open their minds to one another. The hard truth is that race, culture and ethnicity matters and are important. If we did surrender to just completely meshing and becoming a homogenized race and culture of people, where would the diversity that propels us higher then come from? If every one were the same, the Hip-Hop movement would have never been born. People fight to survive as what they are because it is innate. We might not be able to articulate it well but somewhere inside we know that there is purpose behind our diversity and that it needs to survive. That's why integrated relationships are perceived as threatening. If the Black community was not still suffering from the repercussions of the past and if the White community was not still feeding off of the misdeeds of the past; I don't believe anyone would have anything to say about who you are dating. I don't hear White people complaining about Julie dating you and that's probably because they probably have no sense that their existence is being threatened by it.

Your daughters are biracial and it makes sense that they should have a greater degree of open-mindedness. It is important to us as Black people that we not only survive, but that we thrive and prosper. It is the way of EVERY proud race that has ever been and that exists today. It is an appreciation for this basic value that has allowed most societies to prosper. We are the only fools running away from ourselves.