Russell Simmons & The Overstander Discuss

As you might know, there is still a bunch a talk surrounding the relationship between Julie Henderson and Russell Simmons, not only because she's White but also because she lashed out at Black women on a blog because of the negative comments Black women were making. This led to Katie Rost (Russell's ex-girlfriend and a Black woman) and Necole Bitchie (An Ethnic Celebrity Blogger) doing a little verbal judo on Julie in response. There's been a bunch of back and forth and then Russell chimed in on the blog site himself. Russell seem to be more interested in expanding the conversation so I initiated a dialogue with Mr. Simmons in response to his post. Our conversation thus far:

Russell:
Every morning after meditation, I look through the daily newspapers and surf the internet. Some of this stuff is supposed to be pretty heavy. But honestly, at that time of the morning I'm still high as hell from my meditation and really "its all illusion" Anyhow, one morning I was sitting in bed with my current girlfriend Julie Henderson and I saw a very typical image of us together at some black tie event. The picture appeared on one of of my favorite sources of relevant news bossip.com.

The headline was "IS RUSSELL SERIOUS ABOUT THIS WAFER?". I was pleased with the picture and I kept it moving. Julie, who was looking over my shoulder made a comment,"Hey, at least they think I look skinny in that dress!" I laughed like a happy yogi baby and said, "that's not 'waif' honey, that's 'wafer' ...like white girl..:-).

She didn't think it was that funny-but it was.

She has been subjected to quite a bit of these "funny" experiences. A relatively small number of them compared to maybe my Swedish girlfriend Tova Johansson from the early 80's. But still, these stories bothered her a bit. So much that I suggested she write a blog about her feelings. Julie is a bit younger than me so I find myself smiling at her innocence when she reads these things. Its confusing and hurtful to her but her shock about it shows that her generation is on the right track.

Even my own website isn't perfect. Here's the reality- my editors think it's ok for for my bloggers, such as Katie Rost, to call white women, "stringy haired bitches". Hmmmm, what if Julie submitted the unthinkable? Just kidding. That would never happen. But then, what is the answer?

One of my associates told me just to accept it, THATS JUST THE WAY IT IS. As a sheep in human society I guess that answer is acceptable but as a yogi I'm forced to re-examine this answer everyday. For example, the abuse of animals, the planet and other humans is continuous and ongoing but each individual at different levels of participation in the abuse can say stop. I'm re-learning the truth every day, all day- which is we all have the choice to operate from a place of love.

I'm comforted to know that my kids will surely grow up in a world where by the time they reach adulthood we will all be even closer to a place of acceptance and tolerance. As for me, I will continue to try to do what I believe is karmically right, follow my heart and date appropriately (whatever color my girlfriend may be). And I will, when the appropriate time presents itself, always try to slip in words of healing. I will also always try to promote the message of love and tolerance- and to remind people the same mantra that I use for myself (and often say out loud): We are here to give the world what we want and to take what we want by giving it to others because in the end their freedom turns directly into our own freedom.

Practice giving the love and respect you want for yourself to others and see what the payoff is. I promise you, its big.

Namaste (for real)

The Overstander:
I think "Gangsta Dakini" said it best, a Yogi is not an active participant in amassing things of monetary value, in this world. Russ, you are a Capitalist first, above all else and while your efforts to play a role in the demise of "bad things" in the world might be note-worthy, you shouldn't obscure the truth from yourself: your actions are ego motivated "feel-good" measures to justify your own fortune to yourself. "svbmdb" made some VERY valid points about the "real world" - we live in it, and in the real world, Black women are suffering from a shortage of really good men (not wealthy - just "good"), Black men are suffering from and identity crisis, Black children are suffering from a lack of two-parent homes and role models. In the real world, it matters when one of the VERY FEW exceptionally successful, intelligent and seemingly decent Black men, is unwilling to COMMIT to finding a Black mate.

Greater success presents a wider array of options for dating and what does it tell Black women and little Black girls when the celebrated successful Black men are all exercising those options by choosing a mate that looks nothing like them? Is is any wonder that our women are increasingly doing more to escape their natural looks - "refining" their selves into a more "acceptable" standard of beauty - one which they can never naturally achieve?

I don't fault you for the choices you have made because they are personal and your business but you, your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend are actively participating in this discussion and have therefore invited everybody's opinion in. If you haven't noticed, not much has been said about Kimora and that's probably because she hasn't issued an invite via an opinion blog on this topic.

Congrats on your Ambassador posting

Russell:
i certainly dont believe that a practicing yogi has to be a renunciant .. i cant even spell it but u got the point im just doin the best i can i enjoy giving though and i have some faith and im gaining more through practice this dialogue is fun and in some ways even important...i have a firm belief in the truth that by relieving suffering or promoting happiness im selfishly promoting my own happiness and thats what i try to remember to remember .. like most people i sometimes forget i try to move my buisnesses to pplaces where they are not harmful infact i try to believe that they are infact helpful.. read the diamond cutter by the monk geishe michael rooch

i hope u get this u make good point i must say that my daughters will not carry any weight from me regarding who they date i believe in integration both economic and spiritual . Blacks less likely than jews asians whites and others to do it my daughters can date whoever they want < so long as the person they choose is not hurtful to them and ofcourse their mother agrees.

The Overstander:
Greeting Russ (hope you don't mind me calling that),

I think you make some very good points as well. No one should argue that the ultimate goal of our society (the world for that matter) should be a peaceful all-accepting non-racist one. The question is; how do we get there? The easy answer would be for everyone to stop considering race, culture and ethnicity and simply open their minds to one another. The hard truth is that race, culture and ethnicity matters and are important. If we did surrender to just completely meshing and becoming a homogenized race and culture of people, where would the diversity that propels us higher then come from? If every one were the same, the Hip-Hop movement would have never been born. People fight to survive as what they are because it is innate. We might not be able to articulate it well but somewhere inside we know that there is purpose behind our diversity and that it needs to survive. That's why integrated relationships are perceived as threatening. If the Black community was not still suffering from the repercussions of the past and if the White community was not still feeding off of the misdeeds of the past; I don't believe anyone would have anything to say about who you are dating. I don't hear White people complaining about Julie dating you and that's probably because they probably have no sense that their existence is being threatened by it.

Your daughters are biracial and it makes sense that they should have a greater degree of open-mindedness. It is important to us as Black people that we not only survive, but that we thrive and prosper. It is the way of EVERY proud race that has ever been and that exists today. It is an appreciation for this basic value that has allowed most societies to prosper. We are the only fools running away from ourselves.

Katie Rost Speaks On: Julie Henderson And Russell Simmons

Here's another post by Katie on Julie Henderson an Russ, found at Global Grind.

Katie Rost's own words:

"I’m at Russell’s apartment and Julie Henderson just walked down stairs.

I’m not saying she was doing the walk of shame (but it was 12:15 pm) Let me be clear, I have no beef with Julie! We’ve just fallen at different times for the same man…

The first thing she said to me when she cascaded down the stairs was, “When are you leaving?”

I said, “in two weeks"

Her eyebrow rose in skeptic dismay.

I waited a looooong minute before telling her I wouldn’t be staying with Russell the whole time.

Ok, let's move past all of that. I’m not a petty, competitive woman! (Yes I am) but I'm totally ok with the fact that my time with Russell was beautiful but brief. I am genuinely happy that our friendship has formed in the wake. I'm also happy that he has found someone else whose company he enjoys.

No, no, no people, I’m not going to hate on Julie Henderson! She’s extremely cute for a White girl. (I’m more partial to the ethnic look, but to each their own.) I’ve got to give it up to Julie for getting like 5000 hits on the Sports Illustrated pics and video (which are indeed smoking hot) when they were posted on Global Grind.

Anyway, when Julie and Russell got in last night and came to say goodnight to me, I was chillin in the downstairs guestroom. I had passed out listening to a Deepak Chopra's self-help lecture with a mud mask on. Russell opened the door and asked me if I had a man in the bed. Julie told me I looked oily. They then ran upstairs giggling and having a “we’re a couple and you are a loser who is alone in bed with a f*cking mud mask on your face” moment. But like I said before, all of that is absolutely fine with me. I’m fine in the guest room, Fine fine fine!

I’ve written a lot about the big 29th year on my blogs. It’s so crazy that 30 is approaching and it's so bizarre to look back and see that my modeling career has been a decade long. As I start to contemplate the next phase, sometimes the young 20-something-year-olds like Julie challenge me to face my ego and to consider what’s next. I've had my time and now she is having hers.

Russell always instills in his friends to consider what your gift is and how you can give to others. He was flipping through my portfolio as I recounted the Julie Henderson-meets-Katie Rost moment (unfortunately he was hiding out and missed the whole thing).

With his always pleasing and serene glow he said, “You’ve been steady and you’ve been in this game for a long time. Maybe everyone doesn’t know your name but you’ve had a really great career and now you get to think about sharing your other talents with the world.”

Ahhh, sharing and giving back, that’s always a good place to start…

- Katie Rost"

I'll post more as I get it.

Katie Rost Lashes Back At Julie Henderson

Okay; if you haven't been following the back-n-forth that was caused by Julie Henderson when she lashed out at Black women for talking down to her for dating a black man (Russell Simmons), click this post's heading to see my previous blog on this matter to get up to speed. Today, there is yet another response, this time by Russ's exgirlfriend, Katie Rost.

Katie Rost's own words:

"There is nothing wrong with being a Black woman who has just lost a Black man to a White woman and saying “Now he’s with that White B*tch”. Just like there is nothing wrong with pointing out after your younger husband who you wrote a book about and it turned into a very popular movie “that gay motherf*cker played me like a fool” when you find out that he’s in fact, gay.

There is nothing wrong with being gay and there is nothing wrong with being White.

I’m repulsed by hypocrisy and “controlled speech”. I would rather say what’s rolling around in my head, “right” or “wrong”. I’d rather YOU, do the same. The concepts exist in the world, not just in some people. There is something wrong with pretending that none of it matters at all. My dad is White. I grew up in White neighborhoods, blah blah blah… I’m not a racist. If I’m feeling something and I notice something and I notice the gender or race of the person I might say something about it. If I make broad and ridiculous statements about entire groups of people, if I criticize someone for aspects that are not fully encompassing our respectful to there true self, which is a divine being, a child of God, a vessel of love and light….. Perhaps I’m just being a human being. Perhaps I’m being funny? Perhaps I’m having an ability to be honest about the realities we live in, how I process them and what my reaction is. At the end of all of that, so what?

Some times a White Stringy Haired b*tch is a White Stringy Haired b*tch. Sometimes we should stop being afraid to say what we feel. Sometimes people call you something that hurts.

The blessing I hope spreads for more and more people is to not take themselves too seriously and not believe in the importance of these labels. After reading Julie Henderson’s blog where she confesses to not be a “golddigging ho” but rather a sensitive advocate for the plight of the poor in the Black community, I feel compelled to point out that former President Nixon got himself in a world of trouble by even making the statement “I’m no crook”!

If someone calls you a name and it hurts you, you have been given the gift of getting over your ego belief in that name. If its not you and not true it would be no different than being called an Asian Nazi when you are in fact a thugged out Black dude strolling down Christopher st. looking for a hot boy to take home. The only power of the insult exists in your belief in it. Your reaction to what you are called speaks volumes as to your beliefs.

- Katie Rost a stone cold nappy headed ho!"

I must thank Necole Bitchie once again for keeping up with this whole thing.

Katie has impressed the hell out of me with her response! I have got to know more about this woman! Okay; I'll do the digging and report back.

Julie Henderson Lashes Out At Black Women

Julie Henderson is a model and new girlfriend to Russell Simmons. Julie, as a White woman, has apparently been getting flack for dating a Black man. Here's what she had to say at Global Grind.

Julie's own words:

"I have been spending "special time" with Russell for about 4 months and in that time I have learned some subtle things about some in the black community that have surprised me. I must say that while it has been a bit of a challenge for me, it has also been a wonderful learning experience. I realize that in this day of Obama and change that there is still a tremendous amount of poverty, suffering and pain in the black community, and for that I am deeply sorry. But, I have to say the angry responses to those realities are sometimes misdirected....Just for the record, I am nobody’s white b*tch, gold digger or fame chaser. Nor am I any of the other mean things I have been called lately. I don't need anything from anybody, I come from a good family and I'm a young independent "successful" model making my way in NYC. (If you don't believe me google me or go to juliehenderson.net).

Finally, I just wanna say that Russell has been a great "special" friend and I'm sure as sh*t not giving him up cause some in America object to our friendship. I wanna close by saying, what Russell always says, Namaste. (That means the goddess in me recognizes the goddess in you)....Or, b*tch get your own man.

Love,
Julie"

This posting by Julie, elicited a response by Necole Bitchie, who is a Blogger on mostly ethnic celebrities. Here's Necole's response to Julie.




Necole's own words:

" Dear Julie,

As a woman of color who has come from the “Black Community” one that you say is “plagued with pain, suffering and poverty”, we grew up hearing those very words from our own people “black b*tch, gold digger, fame chaser”. Oh, and must I not forget the most disrespectful of them all “b*tch s*ck my d*ck”!

I hate to tell you this, but you are not singled out because you just happened to be a “white woman” dating a “black man”. This is just our reality. I am glad that you are now more aware of what we as black women have been subjected to in our own community for the majority of our lives. And you wonder why we are so “Angry”…

Welcome to my world!

Love Necole"

My Thoughts:

It really boggles my mind how a person (Julie Henderson) so out-of-touch with the Black mind set and be dating a Black man. Even if she didn't understand anything about Black people prior to dating a Black man, it would seem that she would have tried to understand once she decided to date one. If I chose to date a woman from Spain, I'm going to try and understand something about Spanish culture. It should come as no surprise to her that women of a culture that are losing their men for many reasons, have an issue with a woman who is not one of them, laying claim to one of the most success Black men around. What really disturbed me was the fact that she lashed back. WTF! You have gotten the man so why fan the flames? Let these people vent and they'll get over it.

I am a subscriber to Necole's blog because there aren't a lot of celebrity bloggers who do a good job of keeping up with ethnic celebrities like she does but I think she went for the bait on this one. The fact is that if Julie were not White, no one would be saying negative things about her relationship with Russell. No one should be surprised by Russell dating a White woman as he has always demonstrated a deliberate interest in women of all colors. Kimora Lee, his former wife, is a mixed woman. One very telling thing about this whole incident is that people still have no interest in empathizing with the historic suffering of African Americans. The fact that anyone in 2009 can be so oblivious to the condition of such a large portion of this society, says to me that this society is still not making enough deliberate effort to educate non-Blacks about the history of these people.